Flash Fiction: The Hunt

New year, old fiction

Happy new year, dear reader! I hope your 2025 is better than the year just passed. And thanks for your occasional glance at my humble blog in the last few months. If you are new here, although the dice pool dot com is normally an RPG-related blog, I also like to sometimes share the short and long form fiction that I have produced over the years. Since I have a splitting headache today and not much in the way of good ideas for original blogposts, it seemed like a good opportunity to post this piece of flash fiction. It’s exactly 500 words and came out of some randomly generated nouns and verbs as an exercise a few years ago. I hope you enjoy it.

The Hunt

by Ronan McNamee

I always think of my ambition as the gun I bring on a hunt. Continuing the analogy; job interviews, important proposals and meetings are everyday hunting expeditions.
But on today’s safari, we’re after really big game.

There he is, the prize: Dr Khan. I’ll call him the Great White Rhinoceros; I’m going to mount his head on the wall of my soon to be much larger corner-office. He is just as I pictured, minus the pocket protector; an irredeemable nerd; nervous,
slightly slovenly, side-parting.

My smile and greeting are genuine. I have never been so happy to meet anyone, to be staring down my sights at such a magnificent beast. My trigger finger twitches and I almost shoot early! He had been explaining his discovery, and I interrupted
like a rookie.

I check that my gun is correctly loaded and resume ambush position. He continues his boring explanation. I do glean a little important information, though. The
product he just developed, the product he is just about to sell to my company, enables the user not just to experience the world from the perspective of a bird or a tortoise or a duck-billed platypus, but to live it. No mere virtual reality headset, this.
This invention of Dr Khan’s will revolutionise humanity’s understanding of the natural world by literally allowing its users to become a part of it. It will also make my
company a metric shit-tonne of cash.

His explanations and interminable techno-babble proceed unabated for the entire walk through the university Physics Department until we are in his lab. I continue to nod and make the right noises. The hands holding my gun are becoming sweaty and my patience with the Great White Rhinoceros grows thin.

He stops talking, I level the barrel at him and fire.

I assure him that we would never try to influence him to use his invention for any purpose but the one it was meant for. I convince him we share his values; the welfare of animals, the preservation of Mother Earth, yadda, yadda, yadda. I watch the smile creep across his face when I mention remuneration, a seven figure sum. He nods excitedly. He shakes my hand as I wonder what to carve into that wonderful, big hunk of ivory.

Khan leaves me in the lab as he rushes off to spread the good news to his trophy team. I receive a text. Unknown number. “I’ve seen you on Facebook with that elephant’s corpse,” it reads.

My gun clatters to the red dirt of the savannah. I hear the door being locked. I rise and approach the window to the next room. The Great White Rhinoceros is in there. His finger is poised on a button. His phone is in his other hand. I receive another
text: “Time for you to see how it feels.” He pushes the button.

I run and run and hide, heart hammering, legs aching, tail bleeding. Another gunshot. I bleed.

Flash Fiction: Anthropology

Funerals

I used to have a hard time keeping a straight face at funerals. When I was young, the only kinds of funeral ceremonies I ever attended were Catholic ones. They are almost entirely devoid of light-hearted or even poignant moments, in my experience. Instead, such occasions are concerned mostly with priests warning you about the danger your immortal soul is in if you continue your sinful ways and telling you about Jesus. Anyway, the build-up of emotion caused by this unsatisfactory vehicle for sending off your loved one would inevitably explode in titters and giggles over silly little things. So this story is about, what if a time-traveler from a future free of permanent death attended a funeral like that? Without the necessary context? What would they think? Also, what if it was an assignment for an anthropology class?

Flash Fiction: Anthropology

By Ronan McNamee

Attendance at a funeral was felt to be the ideal introduction to a society. It was a shock, that’s what it was. Why did the man in the robes spend so much time talking about this Jesus fellow? I thought the death-victim’s name was Gary. Why did everyone keep sitting and standing and kneeling? Why was no-one attempting to revive the deceased? I honestly felt as though I should intervene when I realised they had locked the poor man in a little box. Call a Reviv Team!

When they informed us all we were to proceed to the graveyard outside the pointy building I grew truly scared. They intended to bury the poor man! Perhaps he had been a criminal; perhaps this was his punishment. What sort of crime could warrant such barbaric cruelty, though? How could these people (some of them
called themselves Gary’s family for crying out loud!) sustain such a desire for vengeance once the man had already died. He must have been a terrible dictator or CEO of some kind, like Aldorf Hipler or Donal Drumpf? Perhaps he deserved it?
Outside, I discovered many marked graves. By the dates of death many of the incarcerated had been buried for decades. Far past their sell-by dates; no chance of reviving them anymore. I felt sick. I gave my left clavicle a rub to release some Calm. I relaxed and smiled at the woman next to me. “Did he steal something valuable?” I asked her as we shuffled together out of the pointy building into the rain. Her eyes, previously quivering with sympathy and sadness, turned hard and grey, her mouth drooped and she shook her head, turning to speak to the man beside her.

“What did you say to my wife?” said the tall, shiny-headed man to me. I looked to either side but he was definitely looking at me. I pointed at myself. He glared, tears streaking his face.
“What did you say about Gary?”
“I simply wished to understand his crime,” I wished I had read the preparatory pamphlet before I got myself into this.
“Crime?! You little toerag,” said the man lunging at my face with his fist, his fist! I had been struck by a human being at a funeral. I felt that I was beginning to understand the culture. It was one of violence and vengeance and lies.
“I just wanted to understand this funeral ritual!” I screamed. I feared for my own life now. The bald man was gaining allies from the crowd of brutes collected there by the graveyard.
“Understand it? I’ll give you one of your own, you fucker!” I turned and ran down the lane with the mob following. I rounded a corner and whispered, out of breath and scared witless, “Return, please, please please, Return.

And here I am, making this report to you.
What do you mean, failed? You can’t fail me for that! They were out for blood! Unfair test!

Flash Fiction: Kitsune

Japanese inspiration

I lived in Japan for a few years. I actually studied Japanese language, history and culture in university as well. I got into it through my love of manga and anime when I was young. A recurring motif in several of these stories and in Japanese mythology in general is that of the fox spirit, the trickster god who worked their magic on foolish humans for whatever unknowable reasons, or just for laughs. This story was a take on that. It is not particularly unusual to have this sort of story translated to the modern day. In fact, you can still visit shrines to Inari, the fox spirit in Japan today. But I liked the idea of pairing the fox spirit with the common phenomenon of dodgy looking recruiters in shopping districts of Japanese cities, looking for girls. This story is the result. I hope you enjoy it, dear reader.

Kitsune

by Ronan McNamee

The Galleria: home to predator and prey alike, wimp and bully, shyster and mark, the girls and the recruiters.
Over the Sega-Zone-din the boy in the suit called, “Oi, O-nee-san, are you alright?” He had dyed hair, tanned skin, a kind face. Michiko Minami had been stood up by her friends; not for the first time. She shook her head, long black hair curtaining her face.

“Call me Jun. I’ll be your knight in shining armour today.”
She smiled.

Later, they sat near Inari Shrine and she told him her dreams; her ambition to write songs and sing them. Someone clapped twice in the shrine. Michiko glanced. No-one was there but the two fox guardians. Everything paused. Michiko bowed towards the shrine.

“Can I hear you sing?” he asked. She suggested a local karaoke box. He clapped once and led her by the hand.
He bought her a couple of chuhai to loosen up the vocal cords. She was too young but she didn’t want to upset him.
“You’re very beautiful Michiko. You know that, right?” She reddened, turned away, but performed the next song with vigour.

“You could make more money than you’ll ever need, you’re so beautiful, Mit-chan. I could help you!” This time Michiko shuddered, closed her eyes, felt a squirming in her belly, a tingling sensation.
She opened her eyes to see Jun: a rat in a suit.
“Your eyes! What ar-?”
“They see you now.”

She ran outside to the alleyway in the back. The sensation enveloped her. She twitched and shifted; her breath caught and her muscles spasmed. Her mind and spirit rushed. She transformed.

Michiko sniffed the wind and, catching Jun’s scent, darted up onto a recycling bin; further up: top of a vending machine, corrugated roof. Behind an unlit snack-bar sign she hid.
He rounded the corner after her, scanned the alleyway.
She swished her fiery tail and blinked her golden eyes. An image of Michiko the girl appeared near the other end of the alleyway; uniform slightly bluer, hair a little longer than true: what she wanted him to see.

“Oi! Mit-chan!” Jun shouted, shoving shades onto his head. Michiko the girl turned, winked at him, then danced into the night. He broke into a run, passed right below her snack bar sign, calling her a “dumb kid.”
On four slender, white-socked legs she sped after him, all diamond grin, magnificent tail and golden eyes. Odd, watching herself lead him on. She made sure the image remained tantalisingly out of his reach all the way back to the shrine. It was… easy.

The fox guardian statues turned, eyes glowing, as Jun passed between them. He followed her heedlessly through the darkened doorway. With satisfaction, Michiko watched a golden luminescence begin emanating from the building. The kami kept its promise and she delivered what it wanted. She swished her tail and sauntered off into the night humming a tune that had only just occurred to her.

Flash Fiction: Potential

Competition

I used to love to take part in the flash fiction competitions held on the Escape Artists Forums. I think I have mentioned that before. I would read and re-read every entry, and vote in each round. The work of writing the actual flash fiction stories was instrumental in my development as a writer but reading and critiquing literally hundreds of flash stories over the years also helped me understand what to avoid and what to emulate. If you are an aspiring writer, you could do a lot worse than to take part in contests like this. It looks like the last one they held was a couple of years ago so they are about due for another one soon. Also, if you win, they reproduce it on one of their podcasts! Check them out at the link above.

Anyway, this is one of my more successful efforts. “Potential” got to the semi-finals of the contest for Escape Pod in 2018. I hope you enjoy it, dear reader.

Potential

by Ronan McNamee

“Do you remember the Earth, Momma?” Kevin bounced between ceiling and floor. Liberty couldn’t watch without nausea nibbling. She stood before their darkened porthole, preparing silver-packed lunches.

She sighed. “How many times, Kev? Why keep asking this question?”

Kevin’s reflection shrugged in the porthole.

Liberty knew why: he didn’t believe her answer. To her son, Earth was Heaven, the Happy Hunting Grounds, Valhalla; but he believed in it utterly. Of course he didn’t believe her.

“Did you ever see a bison, Momma?” Kevin performed his final dismount from the ceiling, not with a flourish but with a fart.

“Kevin!”

“I couldn’t help it!”

Shaking her head, suppressing giggles, Liberty rhymed off her standard response: “The bisons are all gone, my love, just like the pandas, turtles, codfishes. That Earth is dying, but we’re still here, L’il Kev. Our future is out there.”

Kevin shook his head and smiled wide. Wink! And he pushed off to the back of their cozy capsule. He began boxing a teddy in the face.

She would never convince him.

No need, she thought, in two more years, we’ll be out of here and escaping this graveyard. He’ll have to believe it. Or will he? Even then? Is there anything I can show him, or anything those scientists can say to make him understand the truth.

“It’s my own fault,” said Liberty softly into her panini. “I shouldn’t have told you this was a spaceship. But you’re my only company: had to console you somehow.” Louder, “Come and eat your lunch, L’il Kev.”

Kevin looked upon his defeated enemy, nodded once and floated over to her.

She handed him his panini, “I’m sorry, my love. I’m sorry I got us into this but it’ll be worth it in the end.” He gave her a cocked head and a scrunched-up puzzled face, grabbed the package and flew off again, laughing, waving his lunch at the porthole. Globs of mayonnaise and molten emmental exploded from it. Liberty winced. She knew the equipment was delicate but Kevin’s potential energy was often released in damaging ways; he was a bored six-year-old. Knuckling her eyes, she began her mantra, “It’ll be worth it in the end, it’ll be worth it in the end, it’ll b-“ Liberty’s nostrils twitched: smoke…

Kevin had abandoned his sandwich mid-capsule while he pretended to shoot her with a defunct thermoglue gun. “Pchew! Pchew!” He noticed nothing.

Liberty floated around, sniffing. She strained to listen but Kevin was too loud. Pleading was futile.

Liberty retrieved the extinguisher and flew about, blindly. The cabin filled with smoke. She began to panic when she heard, “Simulation ended.” Her son bawled. She looked around at him in the next booth.

A white coat loomed above her, “The trial is over, Liberty.” She shook her head, tears stinging.

“You were unable to maintain your capsule… your ticket off world is revoked.”

“No,” she whispered.

“You’ll be staying here on Earth. We thank you for your time.”

Short Story: Commute

Submission

This story is one of the few I submitted to a magazine. It didn’t make the cut but I still like it enough to share with you, dear reader. It’s a short story with a pretty clear collection of themes and what always felt to me like a pleasing format. I hope you enjoy it!

Commute

by Ronan McNamee

The train doors beep beep beep behind me. I stand on the slick floor and liberally drip. A clunk and a peep signal the train’s readiness to depart. I sigh.

The carriage is half full of half drowned suits and sodden hairdos. Ill-placed umbrellas release their gathered torrent in streams. It’s safer in a seat so I seek one out. All the usual faces, the grumps and the chatterers, the sleepy-heads and the readers, the men and the women. I’m looking for a woman. I get chatted up enough in work. There’s Sophia, eyes closed, head back against the headrest, lips pursed, breathing regular. That’s what I named her, of course. I’ve never even spoken to her. To me, she is the epitome of ‘Sophia,’ perfectly turned out, black hair, sallow skin, sophisticated. Too sophisticated, in fact, to even be fazed by the goings-on on the train. I’ve never seen her so much as open her eyes, though I’m certain she’s not sleeping. Distant cymbals can be heard from her earphones. In my mind that’s the percussion on a Zucchero song. I sit next to her and sigh another sigh, anxiety creeping up my oesophagus. Every moment is a moment closer to another eight hours in hell.

I wipe the last crumb of sleep from my eye and look around. The seats are all packed with familiar commuters. A holidaying couple corral their luggage in the space in front of the doors at one end of the carriage, a cyclist obliviously pisses off regulars at the other end. Debs is sitting across the aisle from me. Debs plays games all weekend long. It’s her only escape from a life that is otherwise unsatisfactory. She works in a game store where her boss leers at her and the customers joke about whether they would or wouldn’t as though she were a lewd selfie. Not my finest character to date. Swap the game store for a music store, her leering boss for my lecherous one (Greg has been ogling me since the interview) and her gaming for my vinyl collection and Debs is basically me. A little one dimensional, maybe. I notice she’s looking a wee bit uncomfortable with the attentions of the guy across the table from her. She pretends to apply her makeup, glances once anxiously at him over her compact. I watch as her irises widen and her mascara applicator pauses mid-stroke. She’s rocked by a shudder, almost drops the mirror, but her eyes are captured by his.

I take a look at her captor. The man is grey, not of hair, which is more like stringy, dry rice noodles, but of complexion. He seems ancient, mostly dust and brittle bones wrapped imperfectly in paper. His suit is a pigeon-grey that was once a raven-black. A black orb shifts under his bald brow, tracking Debs’ movements. I shiver involuntarily but I can’t keep my gaze from him. He fascinates me. He’s a physical manifestation of “Swordfishtrombones.” The train jolts to a stop. Debs breaks his hold on her. Then, heels and umbrella thrown out behind her, she click-clacks through the train car and out the beeping doors as fast as her bejegginged legs will carry her.

Swordfishtrombones just sits there, eyes in his lap with his gathered hands. The top of his head is blackened and blemished with sores and liver spots beneath his noodle-hair. I look away, out the window past Sophia, and turn up the volume on “Hazards of Love.” He doesn’t even look up when I pass him on my way to alight at Central.

Next morning and I’m taking off my shades to get a better look at my seating options as I step on the 08:09. My sun-dappled mood darkens as I spot all those usual faces. I struggle past Mrs Costello’s enormous handbag, sprawled in the aisle as per usual, Tuesday to Saturday. Mrs Costello I named for Elvis (‘Every Day I Write The Book’ Elvis, not ‘Suspicious Mind’ Elvis.) It’s her thick, black spectacle frames and spiky, black hairdo. She blabs away on her mobile, unaware of the commuter trauma caused by her oversized hand luggage.

My seat is the same as yesterday, right beside Sophia. Debs is missing, though. Odd. She normally applies her make-up somewhere on my carriage between 8:09 and whatever time she gets off, Monday to Friday. Maybe she’s on holiday, maybe she’s sick. Swordfishtombones is absent today too. I name the resulting emotion, “relievappointed.”

I fill my ears with Joanna Newsom. “Caaas-i-o-p-ah,” sings Joanna as I stew yesterday’s memories, mixing Greg’s lewd condescension with a dollop of Fallout-Boy-kid’s breast-obsession and a healthy twist of my own pickled bitterness. By the time I step onto the platform it has been stirred up into what I can only describe as a reddish-brown anxiety bisque. I sigh hard and march off to my doom again.

Black vinyl hair hangs in front of my face. Rain water falls from it in a sheet. I feel like bawling. I’m sick of this fucking train and all these assholes being herded to their shitty jobs in their depressing offices. I’m sick of this fucking country and its roulette-wheel weather not to mention its cheap, plastic umbrellas. I stand, fuming for a minute as I wipe my face and then check out my raccoon bandit mask in my reversed phone camera. Great! Fucking Wednesday! I pull a wipe out of my bag and stomp to the nearest free seat to sort my makeup out. My seat is at the same table that is occupied every week day by Indian Lou Reed (I assume this needs no explanation.) Indian Lou Reed nods at me but does not smile. I glare at him. Indian Lou Reed’s day job is as warehouse manager of a mid-size office-supply company where he attempts to ignore his colleagues’ casual racism all day long. But by night he is front man to tribute band, “The Velvet Underworld,” which cleverly mashes the music of his two favourite bands. It looks like he had a hard night on stage last night but the worst signs of it are hidden by his trademark shades.

Across the aisle… My breath actually catches. Directly across the aisle from me sits Swordfishtrombones. A spider crawls up my spine and another one skitters around my brain. He looks different, not younger exactly but more filled out, a starving man who’s had a good meal. On his head the dried noodles have become more like greasy squid ink pasta, plastered thinly to his worm-grey scalp. In profile I can make out the frayed end of a smile. I am staring now and I have no shame. His one visible eye, a marble shifting around in its pallid socket, draws me in. It reminds me of an old cathode ray tube television that has been switched off, dark and distortingly reflective. I glance away from his eye to see even his suit is a little more raven and a little less pigeon today. This time the object of his attentions is Sophia. Sophia has her eyes open. They are bloodshot and rheumy. This startles me more than Swordfishtrombones’ trip to the mortuary’s make-over artist.
Sophia’s face is almost unrecognisable. Gone is the sophisticated lady. Here sits an alcoholic bereft of hope. I can see a sob struggling to escape her throat as her lip trembles. She’s watching Swordfishtrombones. In fact, she can’t rip her bloody eyes from his. I want to reach out to her, touch her arm and comfort her, tell her he’s just some weirdo, tell her she’s too classy for this sort of behaviour. Instead, I keep my hands folded in my lap and watch their psychic battle over the table. I watch them until my stop is announced. I rise, feeling a hard, little bubble of anxiety squirming up from my belly. I back away down the aisle, all the while watching Sophia’s eyes. The doors beep, I start to turn to leave, Sophia’s eyes flicker my way, irises like bullet holes in her vein-cracked eyes. She fixes me with that gaze, pleading, then terrified, then resigned, then they flick back to Swordfishtrombones and I run. I’m weeping freely by the time I hit the platform.

“Why don’t I just quit,” is the question of the day. It is the question of many days, honestly. “Money,” and “fear,” are the usual answers. I’m on the train again. Preoccupied, I shove my sunglasses up on top of my head and sit opposite Mrs Costello. Auto-pilot. I’m on auto-pilot. That bastard, Greg. That fucking bastard. Did I lead him on? Did he just get the wrong idea? Maybe I said something to make him think I wanted to fuck him in the dirty old fucking shitty storeroom. Fuck that! This is not me! I don’t think this way! I’m beginning to understand why people do think this way, though. My stupid brain repeats this loop or something very similar every few minutes. Finally, my stomach lurches as the train pulls into Central. I close my eyes, clamp my jaw shut and rise.

Friday! I wish the Cure song were true. I’m not in love though, I think I’m in hate. My head pounds and I feel sick. One more day with that bastard. The sky roars as I mind my step through the 8:29’s sliding doors. I turn to watch the first tentative drops. I’m not even seated before a psychotic drummer starts to beat out a cacophony along the roof. My eyes are drawn to the darkening world beyond the window as I take a seat across a table from Mrs Costello. I choose it so he can’t sit opposite me. I can’t deal with any further existential terror this morning. My life is doing a good enough job providing that all on its own. Once I’m sitting, Sophia occurs to me. I was so wrapped up in my own shit yesterday I didn’t even look for her. I grip my armrest and whip my head around, the better to check out the carriage. No Sophia. I turn back knowing he’s there across from me. I keep my eyes closed, as if mid-blink. He comes with the rain. He comes with the misery and the end of the rope. He comes when you need him. I open my eyes.

Today he looks more like a rakish undertaker. His hair is slicked into a cow’s lick across his maggot-coloured forehead, the ghosts of black eyebrows have grown above his eyes, right above his… dark, quarry pool eye…

Eyes Open

“You see over yonder, Ollie?” Ollie’s father roughly jabbed him with his bony elbow. the man’s digit described the glowing tree-line at the foot of the hill. “That’s where they are. Should’ve burned it down years ago.”
His dad shook his head. “Never should’ve let them in in the first place!”
“Someone has to act, and it’s going to be us, boy!” Ollie stepped back as his father stepped forward, lighting a torch and holding it aloft in the night air. It illuminated the burning shield tattooed on his neck.
Like moths Ollie’s eyes were drawn to the flame. Its white-hot heart drew a memory on his retinas:

The Folk were caught off-guard by the attack of their allies, the people of the Kingdom. The Folk had cured their poxes and healed their wounds. They had promised they always would in return for peace. But the King’s subjects feared the Folk more than they valued peace. The Folk and their woods burned as the people howled and chopped and marshalled the inferno.

Ollie followed his father a few yards behind out of fear.
“They’re an infection, son! We have to burn them out of our community!”
Ollie stepped in a puddle near the foot of the hill. The water’s dark mirror reflected another memory:

A woman of the Folk, aglow with forest magic, laid hands on the ruined leg of a warrior. A woman of the Kingdom loomed behind her. As the knight’s limb was made whole the woman shoved the healer back into the city’s dirt where they had found her, spat and laughed.

Ollie stumbled in his father’s wake.
“Come along, boy! We took them into our civilisation when they had nowhere else to go. What did we get for our troubles? Knives in the back! Why wouldn’t they want our great Kingdom leading them, protecting them, showing them the right path? Eh?”
Ollie no longer heard. He rose and peered into the clouds above. Their wisps revealed a new memory:

A man of the Folk, all but invisible in black, dropped from ornate rafters onto the King’s throne. He roared in pent-up rage as he sucked the life from the monarch. The man’s body, pustulating and poxy, tumbled to the floor beside the King’s, just as dead.
The Kingdom drowned all the Folks’ children.

Ollie’s father approached the trees.
“The last of them live in this fairy-ring, Ollie. We’ll be heroes when we cure this infection!”
Ollie ran to the first great ash. His eyes peered into the swirl of an ancient knot:

A slender hand reached through a window to enact a terrible trade, one tiny boy of the kingdom for another identical one. The be-glamoured and bundled cuckoo screamed and a man came to attend. He held the child tenderly to his face, right by the flaming buckler emblazoned below his ear.

“No, Dad. We’ll cure you instead.” Ollie began to glow with forest light.

Flash Fiction – Finnabar’s Relative Reconciliation

500 Words

For a while there, I was a part of a small writing group. We used to come up with random prompts or a selection of nouns and verbs and make flash fiction story out of them. They generally had to be 500 words long andinclude those randomly selcted words. It was a fun and interesting challenge and the results were always fascinating because each of us would end up with such different and idiosyncratic pieces. This was good practice for a series of flash fiction contests I entered on the Escape Artists forums. Escape Artists produce such long-running and luminary genre fiction podcasts as Podcastle, Escape Pod and Pseudopod. You should check them out. Anyway, if you were a contest winner, the prize was usually to be published and read on one of the shows. I also just really enjoyed reading all the submissions in the contests and voting on them too. I never did that great in the contests, I think the best I got was a quarter-final place, but taking part taught me a lot. The main lesson was editing. In 500 words, there is nowhere to hide. You have to choose every word deliberately and you must be brutal towards your own work. I also discovered that originality of story and format proved popular among the voters on the forums.

So this work is an attempt at both. But it is also one that I never submitted to a contest. I don’t precisely remember why. But anyway, maybe you will be able to enjoy it here, dear reader.

Finnabar’s Relative Reconciliation: A spell used to bring accord between two riven kin.

Material Components

  1. The two subjects of the spell. They must be present in the same room as the performer of the spell. (Convincing both parties to do this may be the single thorniest aspect of this spell. I suggest deception. If that is not your forte recruit the aid of one more suited to the task. If all else fails, refer to a spell of my own composition, Finnabar’s Enchanting Eyebrows, also published in this compendium. I used this method to draw my siblings together against their wills. I reiterate that it should be used only as a last resort.)
  2. Three hairs, two feet long, plucked from the human heads of three were-creatures, a fox representing deception and adaptability, a rat to represent betrayal and creativity and a wolf as a symbol of both fear and path-finding. Please note that these must be given with consent. You will find a sample consent form overleaf. It is wise to expect to pay a price for these components. I was not so wise and now dread the inevitable waxing of the moon.
  3. An article of significance to the family as a focus. The painting of a respected ancestor, a piece of jewellery belonging to a beloved relation or an ancient heirloom. Personally, I chose a bust of our esteemed father. A poor choice. I was previously unaware of one sibling’s true feelings regarding our patriarch so it served to disrupt the spell rather than focus it.

Performance

  1. The first step of the performance rests in the hands of the subjects, rather than the performer. They begin by standing eighteen inches apart and greeting each other. Their resistance to this may be strong. In my case it was strong enough to break the suggestion caused by my eyebrows when the greetings were uttered. Once that had occurred, however, they both remained close enough that I was able to proceed with the next step.
  2. Tie the fox hair around the wrists of one subject and the rat hair around the wrists of the other. Join the two together with the wolf hair. I had great difficulty in completing this step while both siblings stood over me, shoving fingers in my face and yelling. I was forced to use another spell, Finnabar’s Restrictive Rope, from my first grimoire.
  3. Finally, perform a simple Shanahan’s shuffle and produce an eldritch flame from the focus object to engulf the binding hairs. There will be peace between your subjects. In my case, I assume the use of the wrong focus caused a rift between my siblings and I, for should they not have appreciated my help?

NB – I cannot over-emphasise that you should heed the warnings I have peppered in the text of this spell. If you do not, the consequences can be monstrous. Also, if a fellow mage wishes to practice the performance of the spell a couple of times while assisting me, please contact me with urgency.

The Apprentice, Chapter 16 and Epilogue

The end

I’m under no illusions about what this story is. It was my very first attempt at writing anything log form. The quality of the writing (or lack thereof,) the self-indulgence and the repetition of tropes and cliches are all too clear to me. In fact, it’s been so long since I wrote this (more than 12 or 13 years, I think) that it no longer feels like I was the one who wrote it. This makes it easier for me to be critical of it, but it also allows me to see the parts that shine. The plot and the character of Maryk still work for me, and there are elements of the world I built here that I used in later writings too.

I decided to share the story here as something of an exercise, but also as a form of motivation. I would like to be a better writer, and I think, laying this book out here for the world to see (or whatever tiny proportion of the world visit my humble blog at any rate) has forced me to look at my writing from a very different perspective. And I can see the flaws and the areas for improvement. And, hopefully, that will push me to write more and to write better.

Anyway, dear reader, I hope you enjoy this finalé to the Apprentice. Let me know what you thought of the story in the comments if you like.

Chapter 16: Dead is Dead

Delegation of duties for the dead was surprisingly easy. I had already discovered in my work with the ancient dead that talents and predispositions still existed within their decaying bodies. Therefore, some were excellent farmers, some builders of notable skill and others natural warriors. In the case of the skeletons I had to just figure out which were which by assigning them the tasks and ascertaining whether they did them well or poorly. In the case of the recent dead of Pitch Springs they were readily categorised for me. The graveyard was already split into guilds’ sections so all the masons were buried together, all the smiths were in one section, all the cooks in another. Of course, a corpse’s previous profession was not the only consideration. Stage of decomposition as well as completeness or otherwise of body were also important. I separated them as best I could, sending a hundred or more farmer’s corpses into the countryside to begin working on the land, a trio of dead smiths into town to begin working at the forge, a score of shambling masons to begin construction of a much needed wall for the town, two dozen ex-quarrymen to the quarry to begin extracting stone for the wall, a baker’s dozen of deceased coachmen to liberate some of the town’s carts and start transporting the stone from the quarry. There were a few other small groups and individuals: I put Grey Greta back to work but not before I’d had her picked of all her flesh (a rotting, stinky washerwoman would never do.) Ditto the three cooks I found and sent to start cooking up a feast in the Town Square. A single sculptor’s corpse I put to work sculpting a statue of my father in the middle of Saint Frackas’ Square. My father’s empty corpse did end up at my side after all, grasping his bastard sword in two hands and standing to attention as much as one can when one’s head is lolling over one’s right shoulder like the knot on a tied up sack.

Duties assigned, I returned to my fortress to make plans for the next stage of my plan. I walked with my last skeleton guard and my father flanking me all the way back. By the time I reached my home the sun had come up and I could see many of my new servants out in the fields, hard at work. I knew there would be a backlash against them but I decided I would not allow it. Hurrying back to the fortress I gathered the remaining ancient skeletons and ordered them to wound anyone who tried to interfere with the work of the newer dead and then I sent them out to guard the workers wherever they were. This left the fortress all but undefended. I was not worried about an attack from town. There was a force of peace-keepers, certainly, but they were not particularly well regarded. The constabulary of Pitch Springs was never trained to a very high standard and were generally considered to be layabouts. I could not imagine them planning and executing a siege or infiltration, in fact, I doubt they could imagine it themselves. They had seemed to work effectively enough during the incident when I returned the mayor to town, to be fair to them, but even then it was my father who had landed the fatal blow. The only man I might have feared now stood at my side. I felt perfectly safe ensconced, once more, in my study.

I watched the happenings in the town and the surrounding country by the use of several Farsee mirrors all hung side by side on the wall of my study. There was unrest. The Pitch Springers mostly stayed indoors and avoided the few of the dead that I had sent to work there. I wondered if any of them would partake of the feast being prepared in the centre of town. When I saw a pair of constables attack the cooks I was appalled. Couldn’t they see that all they were trying to do was prepare a meal? Why would you assault cooks, whether living or dead? The skeleton guard made short work of the constables, though it was, perhaps, a little too efficient, removing a whole hand from one and shattering the kneecap of the other. On the Markinson’s farm, Old Father Markinson launched a single-handed assault on the rotting corpse of his former neighbour, Farmer Yantzi which had been cleaning his farmyard while the dogs cowered under the chicken coop. An attempted defense by the skeleton guard went awry and it ended up with a shattered skull at the end of the spade in Markinson’s hands. it crumbled into bones and dust and then the head came off Farmer Yantzi’s corpse too. I watched as the old man burned the body and the head. A number of other such incidents ended up with the dismemberment, decapitation or cremation of the dead servants I had sent out to help. The skeletons that were left after my father’s ambush were not warriors and it showed.

Most folk on the farms simply left the dead servants to it, however, and I began to hope that they were coming around to my way of thinking. Then I noticed that they were not just leaving the dead to their work, they were leaving the farms to the dead. A congregation had begun in the Temple of Mictus where it had all started. All the people of the town had gathered there and as the farmers arrived in Pitch Springs they made straight for it too. Undoubtedly, they were plotting against me. They thought me some sort of villain and they did not see the truth behind my actions. With them all gathered in one place, I was tempted to launch an assault of my own. After all, it seemed the only people I could trust and rely on were the dead ones. I looked at my father’s corpse standing nearby and wondered what the man would have done in my position. I laughed then, “You would never have been in this situation, would you?” Wholesale slaughter, though? No. There was no situation in which he would have condoned it. None. I would have to achieve my goals the hard way, as if any of this had been easy.

Before proceeding, however, I had to find out what they were doing in the temple. I could not penetrate its walls, however. I imagined it was the power of Mictus which kept me out. I consulted the Book of Royal Magic to find out what alternatives to Farsee were available to me. Every few moments, I looked up at the mirrors to see if anything had changed. It took about an hour, but eventually, there was movement. Six constables emerged from the temple’s front doors and saddled up the horses that they had left outside before riding off towards the bridge out of town. A pair of burly townsmen, bearing torches despite the bright daylight pulled the doors shut again after they had gone. Undoubtedly, the constables were coming to me. Maybe they had a plan to infiltrate the fortress and kill me. They would find that exceedingly difficult. I considered calling in some of the remaining ancient dead but quickly decided against it and sent the corpse of my father out to defend the gate and the walls. I was sure he would be more than capable, and so it proved. In fact, if the attack I was expecting had come from where I expected it to, I would be safe and well today.

I returned to my search for the spell I needed, secure in the knowledge that I was well defended. Some time later I heard the clatter of hooves on the paving stones of the little road up to the fortress gates and I knew the constables had arrived. Out of my window I could see nothing but the corpse of Korl Scharpetzi atop the battlements, looking down at his enemy as they shouted vowels at him from below.

Turning my back on the window, I returned to the book and the mirrors. “I have often wished, Maryk, that this was not you,” said a very familiar voice. I raised my hands and turned, “Master Gedholdt!” He was slowly walking towards me now, skinny as ever but much greyer than I remembered him and had he always had that limp? I do not think I had spared this man more than a passing thought since I ran away, taking his most prized possession with me. I certainly never expected him to turn up here, with an expression of sadness and determination on his face. “It is you, though, Maryk. What happened that transformed you into this?” He gestured to me and then the surrounding study and, by implication, the fortress. “I met someone and she opened my eyes to my responsibilities. Someone of my great abilities has an obligation to help others. That is all I have been trying to do: to improve my people’s lives.” Looking down at his boots he shook his head, “Improve your people’s lives by raising their dearly departed relatives to build armies of the dead?! You’re talking madness. You learned nothing when you were apprenticed to me! I taught you to use magic sparingly and for the best of reasons.” He was angry now, he felt betrayed. “Master I-” “Don’t call me that! I was never your master. I was just your mark, wasn’t I? You drew me in until you saw the opportunity to take what you wanted and go. You’re a trickster, a thief and a murderer.” He shouted the last word and threw out his hands in a magical movement. A wall hit me, I felt my nose burst and my chest crack and my legs lift off the floor; another wall hit me from behind, this time the real, solid wall of the study. I knocked the back of my head off it and my vision took a break again. Falling to the floor, I hurt all over but particularly in my chest where I was quite certain one of my lungs had deflated. I sucked breaths in at a rapid pace without much success in obtaining air from them. I looked up at my attacker. Never had I seen the man look like this, he looked dangerous. I inhaled deeply, once and shouted as best as my one remaining lung would allow, “Poppa!”

My father’s corpse would be coming but it would take time. How was I going to survive this? I had to think quickly and act quickly. The fastest spell I could remember was the first one I had ever performed, the first one that Master Gedholdt had taught me to perform. I said the word quietly and made the movements painfully. A sphere of light encapsulated the head of my old master, causing him to stumble back and fall over an ornate cherry-wood chair. I made for the door while he was blinded. I heard him roar the words of a cancellation spell as he struggled back to his feet behind me. I hobbled down the corridor and then down the stairs to my father and his protection. Where was he anyway? It should not have taken him so long to respond to the summons. I had expected to meet him on the stair but he was not there, nor was he in the entrance hall of the keep. Master Gedholdt had regained his feet and his vision, at least partially. I heard him cry out as he came to the stairs and fall down several of them before catching the bannister and regaining his balance. “Maryk! Maryk, this is pointless. You cannot escape this fate. You are accursed. This is the final fulfilment of those curses. Stop running and accept it.” I ran on. “Maryk! You don’t understand! I’m not alone here!” What did he mean by that? The constables posed no danger, that was for sure. Who else, then? Who-

I exited the great main doors of the keep and looked into the courtyard. The third of my masters stood there before the gates on the opposite side: the Fae-Mother. She stood at her full height, the hair on her head fluttering around the brickwork on the underside of the gate’s arch. A glow of dark, living green emanated from her uncovered face and hands, but her eyes, looking through me as usual were black holes in the glow and seemed to belong to the shadows behind her. My father’s headless body lay on the flagstones before her, broken and twisted bastard sword beneath it. I sobbed, it felt more like losing a father this time for some reason. Also, her presence filled me with an unconquerable fear. I fell to my knees at the top of the steps. Gedholdt stumbled awkwardly out the main door behind me. “I tried to warn you Maryk. I did not come here on my own,” he said as he came to stand beside me, “She sought me out.”
“I will speak for myself, Gedholdt.” The sound of her voice made all the stones which constituted my fortress vibrate at an incredible frequency, it made my eyes feel like they were being crushed. Even Gedholdt was having difficulty staying upright under the assault of the ancient Fae’s words. “You mentioned Gedholdt to me, do you remember?” I nodded. Pain in my chest and nose made it impossible to speak. “I knew he would understand what you were doing much better than I. I realised and released your potential and perhaps even pushed you in the direction you eventually took. I watched you and listened to your voices, inner and outer, for a time before you met me. I knew you already then, much better than you did yourself, and I saw a waste of a mind and a life. You humans and your butterfly lives, you must live them fully every second to make them worth while. The Fae can sit and contemplate or sleep for hundreds of years if we like but you…your people are different. I saw what you could become with the right desires in place and a sense of responsibility. I gave you those things when I touched you. When you started to raise the dead, your logic, I thought, was faultless. It was the perfect solution for all your people. When I saw the reaction of the townspeople to your creations, I was surprised. Why? Why could they not accept the servants you sent them? I had no inkling. That is why I sought out your Master Gedholdt. He explained it to me.” The Fae-Mother nodded to Gedholdt who started down the steps even as I cowered there at the top of them. “Folk should stay dead. Human folk that is,” he bowed to the Fae-Mother who tipped her head at him demurely. “We cannot come back whole from the other side. We cannot stop the progress of time on our bodies. No-one wants to see their dead wife or child or grandfather walking about town, faces rotting, stinking to high heaven. Dead is dead, Maryk. It is an unwritten rule and you broke it. But it’s even worse than that. So much worse.” Gedholdt had taken up a position at the right hand of the Fae-Mother and looked up the two feet to her eyes.
“Your servants. Their souls yet inhabit their bodies. Or rather, they were pulled back from the Aether to fill the empty spaces in their rotting corpses by your spell. This spell of yours required the revived bodies to have a force within them. But, cleverly, you changed the spell too, did you not? You altered it so that they would have to obey you or someone like you. So, even though these souls occupied their old bodies they could do nothing to control them.” She stopped talking, mercifully and looked down at the body of my father, sprawled on the ground before her.

I reeled and and covered my eyes as I lay on my back trying to breathe, trying to talk, trying to refute this, trying not to imagine the existence suffered by a mind trapped in a body it could not control. “No,” was all I could manage. “On the contrary. Where do you think the energy came from to do what you did? You? You are more foolish than I realised or I would not have given you my gift. Progress is all I ever strove for, as you know, for my people and yours. It is too late for my people now. Yet I thought you could do what I could not. But I cannot condone this. You have corrupted the very notion of progress by trying to achieve it in this way.” I heard her coming closer, both of them approaching.

“I didn’t know,” I wheezed.
“Ignorance is no excuse.” She was heartless. “The souls you stole to power the corpses which were at the very heart of your plans did not know what you had in store for them and yet you trapped them and used their energy without their consent.” The Fae-Mother stood over me now, her power rolling off her in terrible waves. I uncovered my eyes and looked up at her and Gedholdt beside her.

“There is only one punishment fit for the crime you have committed, Maryk,” Gedholdt’s voice cracked as he knelt by my shoulder, “ I think you know what it is.” A tear in his eye made my breathing catch. He turned away then and the Fae-Mother reached down to touch me again with her glowing fingertip, as she had done that day in my little cabin in Creakwood. That day she gave my life purpose, this day, she took it away.

Epilogue

So I died. I died and yet my life went on. Life, perhaps is not the correct word for this state. I exist as a presence inside my own rotting corpse. I can see after a fashion through the eyes of this body, well, eye, there is only the one left. If it were not for that, I think this existence might just be bearable.
The Fae-Mother briefly became my mistress again, well the mistress of my animated corpse. On the first day of my death, after she killed me on the steps of my fortress, she ordered me into my study. My body climbed the stairs back to the room where I had spent so much of my time doing such wondrous work and discovering such amazing things in my studies. I felt like a passenger on a carriage-ride on the way there. When I got there the Fae-Mother ordered my body to stop in front of one of the larger mirrors I used to use to Farsee. I stood there and then she left and Gedholdt went with her. I have not seen them or anyone else for a very long time.

I often used to wonder how long it had been since they left me there alone. I drove myself to distraction trying to keep track of the passing of the days. My mind went away for a while and when you are just mind, that is a serious thing. When finally I came back I knew not how long it had been so I gave up measuring days and weeks and months and years. I measured the passage of time, instead, by the rotting of limbs, the nibbling of rats, the decomposition of the body I was trapped in. There is no escaping it. But to try, I started to entertain myself with stories.

As I explained, my favourite one is the tale of the Man who Killed Sheep with a Stare and I told myself that one often, embellishing the tale in a variety of ways, adding more excitement or a new twist now and again. I had taken, more recently, to reciting to myself the tale of my own life. Once again I often changed it to please myself but it always began the same way. Perhaps I’ll start it again now and this time maybe I’ll let Cobbles live.

I don’t remember it, of course, but I killed my mother as a newborn. I did not learn this from my father. I was not aware of it at all until my sister told me. She has never forgiven me for it.

The Apprentice, Chapter 15

Dad’s home

Guess who’s back in town?

Chapter 15: Taking Control

Gentleness and graciousness had not worked. I was trying to better the lives of everyone and they were blinkered by base fear and ignorance. How could I have imagined anything other than this reaction from these people? Their lives were so black and white, good and evil, alive and dead. It was disheartening. Yet I was not ready to give up on my plans; if they would not see the future I would make them see. The mayor would have his part to play though I would have to do some spell modification again before I could make that happen.

I set my servants to the task of cleaning up the courtyard. It was only then that I noticed the child. A girl of thirteen or maybe fourteen (yes, I realise the irony of me calling her a child but the fact was I felt and looked a great deal older.) It seemed she had fallen to the ground in the rush and scrum as folks panicked. Then one of the tables must have fallen on top of her, depositing chicken bones, corn husks and greens to cover her further. At some point she had been knocked unconscious. As the skeletons lifted the toppled table off her she stirred.
“Hide quickly!” I ordered them. As she pushed herself up off the flagstones I went to her side, “are you hurt?” I asked. “I don’t think so, at least not badly. What happened? Where is everyone? Where is my father? My father left me!” She was becoming distraught. Her head was whipping from side to side in search of a familiar face. Tears dropped from her cheeks and her lips quivered. “Shush now. They have not abandoned you. There was an emergency and they all had to flee. You may have been overlooked in the chaos but you will be returned to them. Here take a seat on the bench and have some water.” I stepped away to fetch a water jug from the table behind us and quickly performed Calm. When I returned, she gratefully accepted the cup from me and gave me a pretty smile in return.

“Now, someone at the party spoke to me of something odd. Perhaps you can illuminate the matter for me. This gentleman told me that the dead had risen in Pitch Springs once. Could this be true?” I asked. “Oh yes! It was the worst day I can remember. It was four years ago. There were three of them. One of them was Pretty Primmy Sharpetzi, one was this poor farmer who had walked under a plough and the last one was a little girl who died in a fire at her family’s farmhouse. I don’t know the names of the other two but I remember Primmy, all the girls do. We all wanted to look like Primmy when we grew up.”
“We live on Mictus Square so I saw the whole thing, well, when they came out of the temple anyways. I saw a little man or a boy leaving first, I don’t think he was one of the dead so I don’t know how he got away from them but they found Hindryk Scheimtzi inside the temple near the altar. There wasn’t much of him left, my Poppa said, but his Momma recognised his clothes. Anyways, it looks like maybe the dead ones had been too busy eating poor Hindryk to worry about this fellow who escaped. It’s funny, I remember seeing this little man pushing something ahead of him like it was on wheels, though I didn’t see any wheels on it. It might have been a big book or a little casket, it was hard to see. He pushed it all the way out of the square and not long after that the dead came out, I screamed when I saw the farmer. He came out first and ran off across the bridge.”
“I heard later that he had gone home to his farm, ate four chickens and a little puppy before his widow came outside to see what was happening. They say he almost chewed her head clean off before his son plucked up the courage to take him on with a pitch-fork, impaled his dead Poppa on it and stuck him to the wall of their stable. My Poppa, who’s one of the mayor’s men, said he was still struggling and writhing when he got out there to see what had happened. They burned the whole stable to do him in. It took a long time for him to stop moving and moaning, Poppa said.”
“The little burned girl went home too, I was told. Of course no-one was home. All her people died in the fire too, you see. I heard she lived for a few days after it happened and that’s why she wasn’t with them in the temple. So she went to the house but it was a burned down wreck. She went inside and just stayed there. It was a few days before anyone noticed there was someone in there. It was her old neighbour, a boy she used to play with, only six years old. I don’t know exactly what happened but she made short work of him by all accounts. After that she ran out of the house and into the town, attacking everyone she saw. A lot of folks got bit and scratched but she didn’t manage to kill anyone else before a constable rode her down on his horse. Even after that, she was still thrashing about though she was so broken she couldn’t get up. They caught her in a net and dragged her off outside town. Knowing about the fat farmer already, they burned her up and finished the job the house fire had started.”
“Primmy…poor Primmy. Guess where she went to. That’s right, she went home too, to her house on Saint Frackas’ Square but not before she visited the old washer woman she used to work for. Grey Greta got dragged out of that place and into the street. She was screaming and hollering so much half the town turned out to see what was happening. It was well past my bedtime but I snuck out wrapped in a blanket to find out what had happened. I saw Primmy there with her black eyes and blood all over her, tearing great chunks out of Greta with her teeth. By the time the constables arrived The woman was long dead and Primmy was just eating her! Everyone stayed well back, standing in doorways and behind anything they could find. I was hiding behind an old watering trough in front of the inn there when they came. When she saw them she hissed like a demon and spat the washerwoman’s blood at them. They charged her and forced her back into the house and then they threw lit torches in after her. We all watched it go up and everyone pitched in to put the fire out. When the constables went inside after it had cooled down, though, there was no sign of Primmy. She had escaped out the back. It was a few hours later when a constable went to check her house and he found what was left of her old governess in bits on the floor of the parlour. The whole place was covered in blood and Primmy, they said, was upstairs in her room, just sitting there on her bed. She tried to attack them when they found her but they hacked her to pieces and then burned the pieces in the square in front of the house.”
“It was all so scary and sad. I can’t believe that poor Primmy, Pretty Primmy ended up one of the walking dead.”
The girl fell silent then, her story done.
“Its time for you to go home now,” I said to her. I went and fetched one of the horses from the stables and lifted her up into the saddle. “Just tell your father you fell asleep after everything that happened and then took this horse home. Just pat him on the rump when you get there and he’ll make his own way back to me.” And away she went.

“She was not like you, my servant,” I said to the nearest of my skeletal minions, “her curse was unbalanced by a lack of control. You know your place and what you should do.” I looked down again at the corpse of the mayor, “although you do it a little over-zealously on occasion. I must bring control to Pitch Springs if this is ever to work anywhere else. You and you: take the body inside and leave it in my study,” I said, pointing at two of the ancient dead.

The next day, the mayor was up and about again. Dressed in a new shirt and jacket it was even difficult to tell that he had been speared through the chest and was missing a vital organ. He still looked dead, of course, but I had given him an ability unknown to the others; he could speak. Well, he could speak after a fashion. His mouth, undamaged and undecayed could still form words and I made it so that he could draw air into his lungs and release it to give his mouth’s words volume. I myself would give him the words to speak through a magical connection.
Back to Pitch Springs went its mayor with me following him all the way through the use of Farsee. I watched as he crossed the bridge and entered the town. An elderly man, his eyes no doubt, weakened by the years, approached to greet him. I could not hear what was said but as he drew nearer the old man slowed and peered harder before stopping, pointing at my mayor and running back into town, waving his hands about in the air. Panic ensued and all ran before the dead mayor. He continued on at a measured pace until he reached the town hall where he stood on the steps. The Town Square was deserted but I began to speak anyway.
“Folk of Pitch Springs, please come out to hear my words. I wish you no harm.” Nothing happened. Unsurprisingly, they did not believe me. “If you are so fearful then come and destroy this body…” This time there was movement on the far side of the square. A brace of mounted constables arrived followed by a few cowering townspeople brandishing torches. One constable started to shout something. I do not know what. I continued. “Finally, an audience. Please lend me your kind ears.” I noticed a few curtains flick in the windows around the square. I was getting their attention. “I have sent your former mayor here to tell you what I have to tell you. I am the occupier of the fortress on the Scharpetzi farm…Davus lu Fae, and I am speaking to you through this body for two reasons. One, I think you will take it better coming from the mouth of someone you know and trust; and two, to show you that the dead can be made to work for us. I raised this corpse from the dead to be a tool. It is a tool of communication, this one. Imagine a world where we used such tools to perform the manual tasks that we normally must spend hours of our time doing ourselves. They can farm, as they have on my land, resurrecting a farm from the dead. They can build and cook and wash and fetch and deliver and fight if necessary but all at our command. This is an opportunity that you can grab now! Imagine what your lives could become with the time to do as you please, when you please. Our people could progress culturally and academically and economically in great leaps!” I stopped speaking. The constables were very close now, right at the foot of the steps but their horses reared and shied away from the mayor’s animated corpse. The townspeople with their torches hung back and watched the mayor warily. Others had come out of their doors and stood around the edges of the square, hands covering mouths, eyes creased with disgust and dismay. “You still do not see the potential!” I shouted, angry now at their refusal to see my great vision for them. “You would prefer to fester in your pathetic little homes, toiling every day to earn a crust of bread when I am offering you a life of leisure and a feast! You do no-”

A man emerged from the town hall and walked around to look in the mayor’s drooping, pallid face. He was a big, broad, grey-haired, clean-shaven man, wearing a cuirass of banded mail and a bastard sword strapped to his back. I commanded the mirror to focus on the man as he spoke to the corpse. I fell to the floor when I saw his face as his achingly familiar lips and teeth and tongue formed the words, I – am – coming – for – you. I sat there, trembling as my father, Korl Sharpetzi, drew his enormous sword from its sheath and hacked the head off the mayor. He dragged body and head into the middle of the square. The townspeople closed in and threw their torches on it. I ended the Farsee spell and put my face in my hands. I wept as I had not done since I was just a babe. He was home and he wanted to kill me. He did not understand my plans. If there was one person in all the world I would have wanted to understand, it was my father, and I was sure he would. My certainty was misplaced, it seemed. Now, I had to make a plan to defend myself from him. He was war-hardened now, perhaps like he had been before he had ever had a family. He was a seasoned warrior and he had every reason to want to kill me: I had killed his daughter and then returned her to life as an abomination, I had caused the death of our governess who had been his own governess as a boy and he thought I was a menace to his town. I was afraid. I had never before been afraid of my father. When my sister and I were small children he never struck us and never raised his voice to us. Poppa always looked on us with kindness and understanding even though I had killed Momma and Primmy was always doing stupid things. The face of my father that I saw in the mirror had the look of someone possessed by hate and vengeance. He had earned some scars in the wars, I could see a jagged one running across his forehead and a crescent under his right eye but most of them were behind his bloodshot eyes.

I banished my fear, telling myself that if only I could meet him in person and he saw it was me I could talk to him rationally and make him see things my way. I dreamt of a tearful reunion, the two Scharpetzi men together again at long last. I imagined him at my right hand as my plans and my servants transformed the world. I was sure everything would turn out as I wanted it to; no, even better than that. Poppa wouldn’t hurt me, he would join me. So I decided to continue as if nothing had changed.
Now, graveyards, boneyards, cemeteries, mass graves, catacombs; these would all cease to be needed in the long run as corpses would be raised almost as soon as their souls had departed in the future that I pictured. So all those burial places would become plots of land that could be reclaimed in the name of progress. Until then, however, they were to be my primary source of new labour. I had to go recruiting that night, in fact and the most populous graveyard in the region was right on the edge of Pitch Springs. There were hundreds of corpses there, many of them would be too decomposed to be of any practical use but a great number would be relatively intact and could once again be made into productive members of society. It was time to go on an outing. A dozen of my skeletal servants accompanied me to the Pitch Springs Town Graveyard. The words were embossed on a metallic arch over the gate. It was the dead of night and the place was locked up so I had four of the skeletons pull the gates off their hinges to allow us entry. The gates clattered and clunked heavily onto the pavement outside and lay there resembling ornate cattle grids. I walked in after the gate wreckers, trailing skeletal minions. They formed a protective circle around me once I had come to a stop on the path in the centre of the graveyard.

I began the spell, the amalgam of spells which gave me control over the dead ones that I had raised. I sang the words and performed the movements perfectly but was interrupted when the skeleton directly to my right toppled over into a pile of bones and roots. It’s head had exploded. The circle had only just tightened around me when I saw the next one in line to the right collapse. What is happening to them? I thought. Is it magic? But then I saw it. An arrow streaked past my face, only a rib’s width from my nose, and exploded the skull of another skeleton directly to my left. I was under attack.

The area was covered in ancient, brittle bones. The magic that animated the skeletons also toughened and strengthened them but losing their heads seemed to break the spell and all its effects. Stepping backwards in an attempt to avoid the next arrow the sole of my boot connected with a leg bone which rolled and then crunched underfoot. The back of my head hit a paving stone with enough force to fill my eyes with black holes and bright stars. I was unable to arise immediately. While I lay there I could hear the swipe and swish of a heavy sword as it sang its way through my skeleton guard. I was showered with bone shards. Flinging my arms over my face I saved myself from blinding by that terrible rain. I shook my head painfully until my vision returned almost to normal and I saw him there, beheading the last of my skeleton guards. My father raised his enormous bastard sword in both hands and looked about him with practiced motions, wary, alert, ready to fight. From the corner of my eye I saw what he could not have from his vantage point; one of the skeletons, head battered sideways and crooked as a five-ace pack, trying to gain his feet behind a gravestone nearby where it had been knocked by the sheer force of one of my father’s terrific blows.

What would you do? I was not to have the chance to convince him of the rightness of my plans, his plan was to kill me, as quickly as he could. I could not, in good conscience, allow my father to murder his son after all that had happened to me in my life due to the murder of family members. What would you do? Well, that’s a question that does not matter. I was the one in this situation and I cannot imagine that anyone else has ever been in a predicament exactly like it before. Looking back now, however, I can see that, although I take responsibility for my actions like an adult, I know I was under the Fae-Mother’s influence still. I see it all so clearly…now that it is too late.

I called to him. He had not recognised me by my features alone since my features had changed so drastically in the years and months since last we had encountered one another. I called him, “Poppa! Poppa! Its me!” He looked towards me without a trace of the hate or anger that I had seen in his face when he was speaking to the mayor’s corpse. He wore the expression of focus and seriousness he always wore when working, no matter if he was pounding fence posts, writing a letter or teaching me a lesson. I knew what I was doing. I knew what was going to happen. I knew, even, a little of what I would have to live with later. But I was committed to my cause, to the betterment of all people, no matter the cost. “Maryk?” his whole face squinted and his forehead scar rippled in the folds of his brow, “It can’t be. Maryk is dead!” I levered myself up onto my elbows and said, “I’m not dead, Poppa. I’m Davus lu Fae. It is me. Just look. I know I have changed but you must know your own son.”

My Poppa leaned down, dropping his massive sword until the point rested on the ground. “By all the Saints…Maryk…What have you done here? Why do you look as if you are an older man than I? Was it…was it you that killed your sister? How could you do all this!? Didn’t I raise you better than this? Why, Maryk? Why? Why? Why?” I gazed up into his face. He was weeping. I had never seen him do that before. I remembered my sister saying that Old Aggie came to collect jars of his tears because they were magic. I remembered seeing his face smiling and at peace, sitting in his rocking chair following a long day’s work, puffing on his pipe and telling us all about goblin bakers and talking dogs and then his two bony hands grabbed each side of his grey head and snapped it sharply all the way around until he faced backwards. My father’s corpse fell on top of me and I screamed until the last remaining skeleton lifted it off and I was able to rise.
I finished the job I had come to the graveyard to do. More committed than ever before, that’s how I felt then. I had just killed my own father for the sake of it and now even he became just another dead servant along with everyone who had died in the town of Pitch Springs in the last hundred years.

The Apprentice, Chapter 14

Big plans

It’s nice to come up with plans and see them come to fruition, isn’t it? We gain an enormous sense of pride and well-being from our work, when it goes right, at least. Maryk is no different but his plans involve improving the lives of every living person, somehow. It’s a big deal! I’m sure we all wish him well in his endeavours, especially as his plans have a tendency to go a little awry, usually to the detriment of all those around him.

Chapter 14: The Working Dead

It had been in front of me for years. The last casualty of my curse offered the clue to how I could help my people gain their freedom. I spent several days in confinement while I studied and planned and prepared. Meanwhile, outside, the newly appeared fortress had begun to attract attention from the locals. I performed Farsee so that I didn’t have to show my face at the window. My assumption was that the local people had considered me dead, probably at the hands of the dead and moving Primula. I was in no hurry to disabuse them of this notion. It would be more useful for my identity to remain unknown. Anonymity might just offer even greater protection than my new home. Farsee transformed the surface of the mirror in my bedroom into an eye to view whatever I wished. It was one of the most useful spells I had mastered from the Royal Magic book. Now I looked at the area directly outside the gate and saw the Markinsons, beet-faced father and cruel sons. They were banging on the gate with sticks, either to get the attention of the occupant (me, though they couldn’t have known it) or to try to break it down. They would not succeed in either. I had no interest in them and a simple Silence spell around my room would take care of the noise they were making. Attention from the locals was inevitable of course but I had hoped to be left alone a little longer; I had a great deal of work to do, after all.

I found the spell I was looking for again. I had only used it once before and it had not worked as I had hoped it would that time but now I knew what to expect and I expected it to achieve my goals. I had to find another spell in the book, however, that I could use in conjunction to give me the control I had lacked last time. It would take time to find and even more time to meld the two spells. It was my greatest magical challenge yet. As such I spent all day every day for a week locked away in my, admittedly comfortable, rooms, studying and writing and working. I went out at night-time only, when it was safe to go and find food. I still survived on very little sleep each night, only an hour or two most nights, so that left me plenty of time to hunt. I used magic, obviously since I had never really handled a weapon with any great confidence. I simply lured the animals out with a simple Charm Beast spell and then fried them with a Firebolt. For vegetables I just went to the Markinsons’ and dug up what I wanted from their fields. I did not feel bad about this.

After a week like this I felt I was as magically ready as I would ever get. That evening I took my amalgamated spell on a scroll of parchment and exited my fortress, setting off to the Creakwood. I knew what I needed would be there. Coming upon the crevasse, I worried that I might have damaged what I needed, near as it was to the epicentre of the earthquake. As I got closer to my goal, though, I could see that it was more or less intact. Only a few gravestones had been knocked over, the graves themselves seemed unaffected.

The Dead, of course, would make the ideal workers for the society I wished to build. The dead would never tire, they did not require payment or even sustenance, they could be controlled to a degree the living could never be and to a degree the Ens could not because they did not have a will of their own. They could be much stronger than the living and would be unflinching and highly effective if sent into battle. Why had no other great mage ever thought of this before? I had read a great deal on the subject by this point. There had been many mages who raised the undead but none of them had ever sought to control them to such an extent. They had only ever been used in the pursuit of wholesale murder, chaos and terror. I think I am the first ever to have come up with a spell alloy that would not only raise the undead but also place them firmly in my own control. They would follow my instructions to the letter without question.

Of course the answer to my question is obvious to me now that I am free of the Fae-Mother’s influence. The dead deserve to remain dead and gone even if one thinks that the soul departs the body when life leaves it. No-one wants to see their loved ones or even their recently deceased acquaintances or neighbours walking about, performing everyday labours in a state of profound decomposition. Of course, the decomposition problem did not arise with the first set of bodies I took from their graves in the Creakwood.

The spell was quite a long one, taking about one hour to perform. When I finished the final movement I could see immediate results. Ancient skeletal hands, digging their way out of the ground, ripping roots apart on their way. They hoisted themselves up out of the holes they left behind and stood at attention by their gravestones like soldiers. There were more than a hundred of them but some had not come out so well. There were several missing skeletal limbs, one had no lower half and the ribcage of one was so badly damaged that it bowed forward constantly. Many of them had become one with the flora of the place and the right arm of one old blighter had been replaced by a long tentacle-like root. I was delighted with them. They would be my first workforce. I intended to put them to work in the fortress and the surrounding farm. I would make it thrive again and I would do it with the untiring limbs of my skeletons.
I marched them back to the fortress in the darkness. I had given them the command, “Defend me.” They defended me alright. They efficiently dealt with a fox, a house cat and a low-flying bat. All of them had simply gotten too close, I suppose. All of them might have caused me some harm, I suppose. Perhaps my orders had to be a little more specific, after all there was no reason for anyone or any thing to die needlessly.

Once back at the fortress I put them to work immediately. I had them destroy the old farmhouse and strip it of all useful building materials. You might think this caused me some distress but I was actually happy that the old place, abandoned and useless for so long, could be put to use in proving the rightness of my plans. I watched from the tallest of my four bright towers as the dead smashed it and tore it and pummelled it and I felt gladness. I watched them take the timbers and the stones and begin to build high walls around the farm. It might be difficult to do, I thought, but it was best if the neighbours did not yet know of the goings on in the Old Sharpetzi Place. Once the wall was finished I had them prepare the land. It had been a greenless, dusty ruin for so long that I did, at first, question whether we would have a chance of reviving it. “I have revived the ancient dead to serve me. One little farm should not be so difficult.”

There were certain things I could not have my servants do, however. They could not go to market to buy the seeds and beasts one requires to build a farm from scratch, at least not yet. Even if people accepted them, they would be incapable of negotiation and would be somewhat prone to being cheated. For now, I would have to handle any face to face dealings with other people. Even the idea of this made my heart race and the hairs stand up on the back of my neck. I once made a vow to myself to stay away from other people at all costs so that my curses would not fall on them and, although my outlook on life had changed since the Fae-Mother touched me, I had not forgotten this promise. I shook it off. “Well, if one person comes to harm I will honour them for their sacrifice in my cause.” This is what I told myself. I believed it too.

So, I went to town. Pitch Springs had changed not at all, unsurprisingly, though I noted the damage my earthquake had done and the absence of the old washerwoman’s house where Primula used to work. By the black burns on the walls of the adjacent houses I took it that it had burned down. I had to go early on a Saturday morning to get to the market before the largest crowd had gathered there. If I were to be recognised by any of the locals, it would be difficult to explain myself. An illusion worked to disguise me as an old man. This was not such a difficult trick considering how I already resembled someone four times my age. A slightly more difficult trick was to make the merchants believe I had paid them when I had no form of currency. I had considered taking a cartload of superfluous furniture from the fortress and trading it but I did not imagine that many of the agricultural traders and farmers who manned the stalls would have enough knowledge of art or joinery to offer a fair price for them even if they wanted them. All of that was academic, of course, because I had no way of transporting it all. Among other things, I was there to purchase beasts of burden. In the long term, I fully intended attaching the dead to carts and carriage and having them transport goods and even people without the need for expensive horses and donkeys. In the short-term, I had to keep my activities secret so the animals would be a necessity. Also I would need them to pull the cart-load of supplies I was about to purchase. I did perform magic to fool the merchants at the market that day. I had some qualms about this as thievery seemed about as low an act as one could perform. However, I told myself that once my plan was entirely successful I could repay them what I owed them and more.
I decided to start relatively small. I purchased several bags of seeds for grains and tubers and also some for a variety of hardy greens like cabbage and kale. A dozen laying hens I got at a very good price off a farmer from out near Priest’s Point (or would have, had I paid him for them at all.) The horses I purchased were two large, sturdy drays, white and brown of coat and they were more than capable of drawing the cart (conjured.) I also stocked up on food for myself so that I did not have to live on nothing but eggs and the Markinsons’ stolen produce from.

On my way back to the fortress, sitting atop the cart, I considered how lucky I was that I ran into no-one who knew me in Pitch Springs. This made me wonder, but I took it as a good sign and continued on past the place of Grey Steel’s death. My spirits were high and I hummed a tuneless tune the rest of the way.

When I got there I was forced to strike the Markinson boys blind. The two of them had come sniffing around the gate of the farm this time. Since my servants had erected the wall and the gate in it they could no longer make it all the way up to the fortress. I saw them from the road. They had brought dogs and scythes with them. Watching them from the safety of the shadow under the trees, I considered murdering them. I still despised them for their unwarranted cruelty to their own dog all those years before and the very sight of them caused a rage to rise in my chest. Instead, I decided that I would punish them and rid myself of them in another way. Since they acted as though they were blind to the suffering of their animals, I would make them blind in fact. Blind was the sort of spell of which Master Gedholdt would never have approved. It seems that the old Fomori Emperor rather enjoyed using it as a punishment for those who disobeyed him. It was the most fitting treatment I could imagine for those monstrous boys. I performed the spell as quickly as I could but just at the end, right before the final movement in which I had to cover my own eyes, the Markinsons heard me and turned my way. They glimpsed me. I was the last thing they would ever see. I watched them for a while after that, fumbling and crying for their mother and for me, “Old man! Old man! Help! We are blind!” I stayed quiet until they regained enough sense to catch their dogs by their collars and tell them to go home. Then I proceeded the rest of the way up the road and summoned my servants to open the gate for me. As the gate opened I ran over the pair of dropped scythes and never even looked at them.

Now, farm supplies secured, the work could begin in earnest. It would take a year, as I saw it, to really see the benefit that my untiring workforce could bring to folk. All seasons are important on a farm and there is always work to be done, no matter the weather. I remembered very well having to muck out the sheep sheds in the winter with frozen-solid fingers and mud in my boots. The skeletons had no feeling in their fingers anyway and no boots to get muddy. They worked night and day all year round, ploughing and sowing and feeding and collecting and reaping and harvesting. I went back to Pitch Springs several more times to “purchase” more supplies, each time with the illusion of a different disguise. If the merchants realised I had cheated them the last time they might be loathe to accept my custom again. I bought livestock and not just chickens, a hundred sheep and a couple of cows and goats for their milk. Before the year was out I was self-sufficient and I never had any work to do except trying to keep the locals off my back.
Inevitably, the Markinson’s were not the last folk to come and knock on my gates. I had the local constable visit one day. I watched him in the mirror but did not even consider allowing him entrance. What was he going to complain about? Building code violations? A number of travelling traders and tinkers came to the gate. I was tempted to treat with them but decided to just let them go on their way rather than reveal myself to anyone too soon. One morning a whole gaggle of Kor worshippers arrived. Kor was a god from Bruschia in the North who was supposed to protect folk from magic. I saw that Mrs Markinson was among them. Maybe she had converted to Korism after her lads came home blind. It wouldn’t help them now. Prayers and entreaties to their god did no good, the wall and gate remained standing as did my home. I watched them leave, downcast, and wondered if they had any inkling that I was trying to help them and improve their lives. How could they? These religious types were always so narrow-minded. Acceptance from them was, almost certainly, impossible. No matter. Once everyone else saw the results of my works and the labours of my servants, they would be forced to acknowledge that I was right and that I would be able to help them progress to a new cultural level just as the Fae-Mother had done with her own people. Except I would be even more successful.

During this whole year I did not see the Fae-Mother even once. For me, I think this was a blessing. She had provided me the impetus to take up my great work and I was always grateful for that but I did not need her now. I was going to reshape human society with the help of my servants. Dead humans helping living ones, as it should be. I did not need the involvement of the Fae in this work.

I decided on a date that I would show my works to the people of Pitch Springs, my birthday seemed appropriate. In the dark recesses of my ego I imagined the date becoming a feast day in the future, to commemorate my good works. Benefactor, philanthropist, sage; these were all the titles I imagined my people bestowing upon me. In dreams I had even imagined a new name applied to the square where I had spent so many years of my youth: “Saint Maryk’s Square.” It made no difference to me that my opposition to the parochial and myopic religion of the common folk would preclude any such beatification. I imagined a new religion in my dreams and my day-dreams both. I imagined myself at its head and the worship of power and magic as its basic and most dearly held tenets. “Mad,” you say? Yes, I think that is a fair description of my state of mind. As it happened, the common folk were more likely to curse my name than bless it and burn me in effigy on my birthday than toast my generosity and genius.

Came the anniversary of my birth, November first. I had spread the word about my revelation that was to come that day by talking to travellers, traders, minstrels and tinkers who were due to visit Pitch Springs. I spied them on the road with Farsee and went out to meet them before they reached the gates of the farm. “A great celebration at the new fortress” I called it, “Some wonderful news from the new owner of the Old Sharpetzi Place on the first day of November,” I told them, “An introduction to the master of the place and his servants will be offered to all who attend along with some well deserved food and drink for his neighbours,” was the news I sent them off with. The people of the town would be unable to help themselves. The curiosity alone would be too much for most. And I was right, of course. They arrived in droves and they were ushered up the newly built road past the old farmyard and up to the gate of the fortress. There I met them. Many of them I knew, some I knew well. None of them knew me though I did not wear a Disguise illusion for a change. Truly my physical appearance had deteriorated even further during my years as a forest hermit. I was sixteen now but resembled a decrepit sixty year old. That is what the folk saw when they met me, an old man, bent and grizzled but with surprisingly bright and intelligent eyes.
“Welcome all to my farm. It is my honour to play host to you this fine autumn day. My name is…Davus, Davus lu Fae. Please, please enter the courtyard, the feast awaits.” I made a signal with my hand and the skeletons, hidden on the wall behind the ramparts turned the mechanism which opened the huge wooden gates. The folk of Pitch Springs and the surrounding land rushed in to get a look at the great keep and to be the first to get to the food. They were led, unsurprisingly, by the Mayor, Yan Wassiltzi, a broad man of prodigious height and an appetite that was known throughout the valley. It was rumoured that he had eaten an entire pig in one sitting. I hoped I had had enough food prepared.

Mayor Wassiltzi approached me as he watched the other folk fill out the benches. There were five conjured long tables which occupied most of the courtyard’s space; all were heavily laden with meat and vegetables, all from the once dead Sharpetzi farm.
“As Mayor of Pitch Springs I would like to welcome you to the area. I don’t know how you managed to put all of this together so quickly but it is damned impressive! Damned impressive!” said the mayor before hurrying off to join the rest of the townspeople who were already feasting happily. I attended each of the tables in turn and talked amiably to their occupants. They were in high spirits and were very complimentary of the repast I had provided and the beer I had had brewed.
“So, Master lu Fae! You run this place all by yourself, then? Must be a lot stronger than you look, eh?” interjected one wit, Elger Gottzi, who had always had a mouth too big for his brain.
Nodding, unfazed, I said, “All will be revealed shortly, good sir, all will be revealed.”

The sun was beginning to fall through the sky again and the guests at my little party were starting to feel the effects of the strong beer. I decided it was time to reveal the nature of my servants. I climbed the steps to the great door of the keep and standing before it, I struck lightly on the side of a glass with a silver teaspoon. The general chatter and hubbub faded until I could make myself heard without shouting.

“Thank you, honoured guests, for your attention. You humble me, truly by your presence here today. While you are here, I hope you will do me the service of treating this place as your own home.” There was general applause, cheers and one call for more beer. “Thank you, thank you. You are too kind. I do not deserve such good neighbours. I hope I can continue to repay you for your generosity, you, and all the good folk of this valley. In fact, I believe I can.” A hush had settled completely now and all eyes had turned from tankards and plates to my face. I saw them squinting, trying to make out what I was talking about. many of the faces I spied were still wary of me, even after having partaken of a great deal of my food. I could see the question lying unasked in their eyes, “Who is this strange, little man with his riches and his fortress on a farm?” No, I had not yet earned trust but there was no turning back now.
“Many of you will remember this place from before. Once it was a thriving sheep farm owned by a well respected family but its fortunes turned. The animals died in their dozens. The fields dried up and then washed away. It was abandoned when I came upon it. I knew it was exactly the place I was looking for. This successful farm, producing the delicious meat and vegetables…and beer (a cheer went up) you have enjoyed today was built in just a year. You are looking at me now thinking, how could this old duffer have achieved all this? You are right, of course. I could not have done it all on my own. I had a great deal of help. My servants did most of the labour. I just came up with the plans for them.”

“So where are these servants of yours, Mister lu Fae? Are they hideous or invisible or all abed from working so hard! They have done a fine job and are to be congratulated for it.” The mayor rose from his seat and climbed the steps to stand beside me, chicken leg still grasped greasily in his prodigious fist. “Well, Your Honour, for you to see, first-hand the nature of my servants is the very purpose of this little party. I wanted you all to first see the very good work they have done, to taste the fruits of their labours and to know that, whatever they may look like, they are the most amazingly valuable resource that we, living, breathing human beings have ever had. What I am talking about is free labour! Not slaves, before you say it or even think it, no; the concept of slavery is abhorrent to me as it, no doubt, is to you good and gentle folk. No, it is the one, thus far, untapped source of free labour. My servants do not need to eat, they do not need to sleep, they do not require shelter though it may be best to keep them out of the rain and the hot weather if you are to avoid undue decomposition. They are the answer to all your prayers. My servants and more like them will make a life of labour unnecessary. From today on you will be able to follow, instead, any pursuit you choose to: art, music, poetry, prose, history, beer, gambling, sleeping! Anything at all! You will never have to work another day in your lives. My servants and their kind will do it all for you. In the last year they have made a dead farm live again, and today, they prepared this feast for you all. Would you like to meet them?” I asked, warming greatly to my role as host and soon-to-be saviour. The mayor struck me so hard on the back that I almost fell down the steps. “Hah! Well, of course we want to meet them, man! If they’re going to do all our work from now on, we should at least be introduced!” I recovered, coughed, and clapped three times, slowly. I did not watch the skeletons emerge, I watched the faces of my guests. I knew where the skeletons would emerge from, the door right behind myself and the mayor. Only twelve of them were to make an appearance. The courtyard was simply not big enough to house the feast and all the ancient dead too. Twelve was enough, more than enough. Faces in the crowd below blanched and a silence descended briefly, oh so very briefly. In a moment a table had been tipped over, a child had been trampled into the flagstones, a beer barrel had smashed in the courtyard, townsfolk ran towards the gate or stood transfixed, one shouted, “the dead have risen again!”

Beside me the mayor’s smile quickly vanished but he continued the action he had just began as the doors behind us had been opening His open hand once again caught me between the shoulder blades. There was no strength in this slap and I was barely moved a foot by it. I turned back to him to tell him not to fear, there was nothing to fear, when the leading skeleton caught the big man by his back-slapping arm. I watched with a quickly rising sense of panic as the boney servant’s other arm thrust itself between the mayor’s own shoulder blades and emerged slightly left of centre of his chest clutching the still beating heart of Pitch Spring’s first citizen. A wave of hot blood washed over me along with a few splinters of sharp bone, not from the hand of the servant but from the chest of the mayor. A woman started to release a series of short, loud screams like a high-pitched donkey-bray and everyone not fixed to the spot started pounding on the inside of the gates to be let out. “Open the gates!” I shouted and watched my guests leave in a very disorderly manner. I looked out on the courtyard, just brief moments before, the site of a merry feast, now a ruin of upturned furniture, scattered food and beer not to mention the gore still pumping from the chest of Mayor Wassiltzi. This had not gone to plan. “Drop the body,” I said quietly. The mayor slumped off the lowering arm of my servant and then tumbled, like a string-cut puppet down the steps making a sound like a side of beef being punched by a sack of tomatoes. It landed amongst the detritus of the party, face up, jaw slack and eyes staring in horror at the beautifully reddening sunset sky.
I stood, looking at the corpse for a moment until struck by an idea. Then I took the murdering skeleton by the shoulder bone and said to him, “Plan B it is. Waste not, want not.”